some things change, some don't

Time flies and with it so many changes come, but some things remain unchanged. I just read this, something I wrote in January of 2009. Two and a half years later and all I can say is wow, this means so much to me still... as if I just wrote it for the 1st time. Thank you Lord for Your steadfast faithfulness.


I had dreams you know - 1/31/2009

Goals, aspirations, great things I wanted to achieve. Places to go, people to see. Some grand adventure to be a part of. High school found me dreaming of becoming an engineer as I took every technology course it offered. Senior year found me dreaming of becoming a photographer as I was given the gift of my first digital camera for Christmas. I brought life to objects and places people wouldn't usually think to capture on film.

I dreamed of graduating school, paying off my loans, and getting my own place. I thought of traveling the world with a camera and selling my photos, showing the world the beauty that still remained.

A year into college, I discovered that engineering wasn’t creative enough for me. I looked into photography, developing my own film, yes, that was it. I changed majors and let my inner artist free. I enjoyed every minute, though pencil to paper barely produced stick figures, with a computer I could create and design to no end.

I graduated, with no job nonetheless. But I did not fear, God had a plan. I traveled. Yes, Spain, I fell in love with the mountains. The Dominican Republic, well, it changed me, it broke me. Poverty. I came back changed.

The job came, it was God's plan, it wasn’t my plan. But His plan is always greater and more fulfilling.

So I have these dreams, aspirations, the desire to join in some grand adventure. But for a moment I forgot about them and settled into the routine of a job and loans. But my heart has been awakened. I’m letting it dream big once again.

And as I sit here, my room filled with the sounds of classical music, I’m thankful that God has made me just as I am… with these dreams, these goals, and these desires.

When I say, "I am a Christian"

When I say, “I am a Christian” I’m not shouting, “I’ve been saved!”
I’m whispering, “I get lost! That’s why I chose this way”

When I say, “I am a Christian” I don’t speak with human pride
I’m confessing that I stumble - needing God to be my guide

When I say, “I am a Christian” I’m not trying to be strong
I’m professing that I’m weak and pray for strength to carry on

When I say, “I am a Christian” I’m not bragging of success
I’m admitting that I’ve failed and cannot ever pay the debt

When I say, “I am a Christian” I don’t think I know it all
I submit to my confusion asking humbly to be taught

When I say, “I am a Christian” I’m not claiming to be perfect
My flaws are far too visible but God believes I’m worth it

When I say, “I am a Christian” I still feel the sting of pain
I have my share of heartache which is why I seek His name

When I say, “I am a Christian” I do not wish to judge
I have no authority I only know I’m loved

1988 - Carol Wimmer

Spain: Summer 2007 and What I learned

After a conversation about mountains with a friend, my mind flooded with thoughts of my summer 4 years ago. Where I went, what I learned, what I loved, and what challenged me to the core. My first missions trip, my first time overseas. I don't ever want to forget about those weeks and all they contained.

We were going to serve.

Wherever you are, be there.

Hurry up and wait. 

Read about it. Let's go back to Spain...

My Girl

For the last 2 years, I have been sponsoring a girl in Malawi (Africa) through World Vision:

Meet Hannah. She's currently 8 and adorable.

I've been able to write to her, get letters from her, and twice a year I get her report card :) getting airmail is one of the MOST exciting things:



This just came yesterday! She gets A's and B's in school and will be in 4th grade next year. I feel like a proud momma when I get her report card, I love that World Vision does that, especially since it includes a current picture! I'm thankful God is allowing me to be a part of this little girl's life... and her family's life.

And since this is a blog of dreams
I'm praying someday I will be able to go...
                                                                and hug her.

get out of the way

"The more we get what we now call 'ourselves' out of the way and let Him take us over, the more truly ourselves we become... He invented - as an author invents characters in a novel - all the different men that you and I were intended to be. In that sense our real selves are all waiting for us in Him. It is no good trying to 'be myself' without Him. The more I resist Him and try to live on my own, the more I become dominated by my own heredity and upbringing and surroundings and natural desires...

It is when I turn to Christ, when I give myself up to His Personality, that I first begin to have a real personality of my own. "

~ C.S. Lewis ~ Mere Christianity ~

 

 

True Love and Giving

During my trip to Spain in 2007, Julia befriended a girl named Nazareth in a small village we spent some time at, Sillar Baja. Toward the end of the trip, when saying goodbye to these new friends, Nazareth took the bracelet off of her wrist and put it on Julia's wrist. I will never forget this.

I looked at myself and my things and wondered if I would do the same. If I would so easily give up something I loved to someone I had just met. Being back in the states for so long, I sometimes forget that material possessions are nothing in light of eternity. It's the relationships, friendship, and people who are important. It's the love we give.

Psalm 107:9 "For He satisfies the longing soul, and fills the hungry soul with goodness."

I don't want to be satisfied with things. I want to be satisfied in Christ so I can love the world around me so much more easily.



Sillar Baja . Summer 2007



Once Upon a Dream

Once upon a dream, I spent my summer weekends on the water.
It was a place of adventure, swimming, snorkeling, hiking, reading, living, loving.
Once upon a dream, I stepped out of my comfort zone and my fears disappeared.

Once upon a dream I learned to sail.
Once upon a dream I ate the best blueberries I've ever had.

I felt alive.

Once upon a dream I learned more of His love and great plan.

distractions and being the best

Back when I created this new blog I thought I would all of a sudden want to post a lot and be inspired to do so all the time. And I felt that way... for a few days.

Yet I know why I'm not here, the distractions, the busyness, the things occupying my mind. I know where my focus hasn't been. And where it needs to be.

Work was really busy for the month of June, I soared at work and by the end of the month I had a lot of people telling me "well done"... I managed something quite large during the LPGA. And as much as I gave the credit away - to my awesome staff, my "right hand" Lynne, who was endless help, and all of the other support & resources I had, people kept bringing it back to me, but I knew it wasn't me at all. It was Him. 

By His grace I did well, I didn't fail, I was the "rookie" and I want God to get the glory...

At work on Thursday during a staff meeting/celebratory lunch (yay we survived the LPGA), we watched a video called "Celebrate What's Right in the World", by Dewitt Jones. It was an inspirational video about seeing the good around us, looking at situations differently, having the right perspective, etc. One thing he said stuck out: It's not about being the best in the world, but being the best for the world.

It got me thinking about what God calls us to. I don't want to be someone great in the world... someone who rises to the top to be on the top. I want to be someone great for the world and for God, not myself.

"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth" Psalm 46:10