only God can move mountains

If I want to see what God has done in my life, often I'll just have to read blog posts from years past.

It's good to read through the archives.

On May 4th, 2011, I wrote of struggles & wonders, and asking God to move in my life. I want to share it with you... and show how only God can move mountains.

when I tell mountains to move

God is always working. Often I know it's happening in my life, but I don't see it. So I'm thankful for a friend who will write to me and tell me what she see's God doing in my life, so thankful. I don't want to miss what He's saying.

Many days lately have ended with the following heart cry "Lord, what can I do, what should I do? I really don't know what to do here." The things I question and wonder about turn into worries, I search for a place to make a change and come up empty.

But it's not until I quiet my soul and my worries that I hear "I know... you're right, you can't do anything here. But I can, and I will, and I will get the glory. Not in your ways, but Mine and not in your timing either. I know when you'll be ready."

 

So I keep hoping, praying, and eagerly waiting for Him to move.
"Just keep looking to Me"

 

So I seek contentment, but a godly discontentment lies deep within to keep me from becoming complacent. A godly discontentment to push me deeper into Him.

 

Lord, you know what I'm trying to do, take over, guide me and move mountains.

 

 

2 short months after posting this... God had already started to work mightily in my life. Dreams were growing, my heart was changing. I didn't know it at the time, but God was softening my heart and preparing it for what was to come.

 

2 short months after posting this... I met my now husband. In the past year my dreams have grown, changed, and deepened. My trust in God has strengthened. God has moved mountains, He has brought incredible things into my life.

 

Sometimes it just takes a few minutes of looking back at where we were to see where we are now. I can't do anything but praise the One who has promised to finish the work He has begun.

 

"He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ"

Philippians 1:6

 

I will bless the Lord at all times;
His praise shall continually be in my mouth.
My soul shall make its boast in the Lord;
The humble shall hear of it and be glad.
Oh, magnify the Lord with me,And let us exalt His name together.

Psalm 34:1-3

 

I never thought I'd love this so much

as a newlywed... and a new wife... I often laugh when I find myself doing something I never really thought about as something I would ENJOY.

Like when I do our laundry, wash his clothes, wash the sheets and towels...

Like when I vacuum or clean the kitchen...

Oh, but I always knew I'd love the cooking & baking...

But there's more - a desire to be a biblical wife (and mother someday)... so there's reading about and studying things like submission, what a Christian home looks like, and praying for God's strength to raise children in this world someday. I was blessed to come to know Christ before college ended. In those 2 years, in that small town, in that wonderful church, I learned about God & Christian homes and I saw it modeled by Christian husbands & wives in the church... by biblical women.

I am ever-grateful for those friends who became family, the 2 years there and the 5+ that have followed, as now I watch them from afar and continue to learn...

One thing I am certain of - I cannot do any of this without God, His grace or help.

My hope and prayer is to someday be like the older woman discussed in Titus:

"older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed. " Titus 2:3-5

meekness & thankfulness

"God has two dwellings; one in heaven, and the other in a meek and thankful heart."

Izaak Walton 

I read somewhere once that meekness was not being weak, but that meekness was "living like you're not the center of the universe... others are." And that it was "living to advance others, not yourself".

Galatians 6:2 calls us to: "Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."

Philipians 2:3 says, "Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself."

Even Romans 12:10 exclaims, "Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another"

This is a week that people all around the US pause to be thankful.

Are we also putting others first? Do we have a meek and thankful heart? 

I want to have a thankful heart always, not just this week... So lets take some time now, but not only this week, to be thankful for all we have and to serve others...

Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise You.

Thus I will bless you while I live; I will lift up my hands in Your name.

Psalm 63:3-4

being poor in spirit

I've had this little notebook for many years.

It contains prayers, thoughts, dreams, scripture, questions, and so much more. It's worn around the edges. It's been loved, used, set aside and forgotten. It's even traveled. 

I opened it Friday for the first time in a year. Last entry is dated 11/1/11. A lot happens in one year.

I've decided to share what I had written August of 2011. I had been reading "Heirs of the King", by Warren Wiersbe. It's a study of the Beatitudes:

“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
For theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
Matthew 5:3

"The Beatitudes describe the attitudes that ought to be in the believer's life." 

The Poor in Spirit: "Being poor in spirit means knowing yourself, accepting yourself, and being yourself to the glory of God."

• Knowing yourself: your strengths, weaknesses, hidden desires, ambitions, spiritual gifts & natural abilities, and being honest with yourself.
• Accept yourself: don't deny what you discover. You will find it easier to accept others and accept God's plan for your life.
• Being yourself to the glory of God. This means growing in every area of your life. Use strengths to overcome weaknesses and weaknesses to discover the mighty power of God. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

"Every place of God's choosing is an imporant place." 

Evidence of being Poor in Spirit?

• accepting of others
• accepting of circumstances
• accepting God's will for your life, joyfully
• having the right attitude toward things (Phil. 4:12).

"A man is rich in proportion to the number of things which he can afford to let alone."
~ Henry David Thoreau ~

I want to discover my strengths, weaknesses, and all that God has made me to be. I want to use this knowledge to grow, change, and be myself to the glory of God.

But God

While driving a few Sundays ago, I passed a painted traffic box on the side of the road that I hadn't seen before. I love that these are being painted in the city. What is really just an ugly structure of necessity becomes a thing of art and beauty. Painted on this metal box was a harvest with two arms rising up from the bottom. It simply stated "Grow Where You're Planted".

I remember years ago after graduating college I didn't want to grow where I was planted. I didn't want to put down roots. I didn't want to stay. But what an incredible thing it is to let your roots run deep. To truly "grow where you're planted"!

If you're fighting where you are, if you're striving to make what you're trying to do work... stop. Pray. Where does God have you? Where does God want you? If what you've been doing for years on your own isn't working. Stop. Pray...

I never knew what God had in store for me when He brought me back to my hometown. After graduating college I was still jobless. I had applied to jobs all across America, but there I was, back in my hometown... wondering "what now?"

But God.

That's a favorite phrase of mine.

I was fighting, striving, resisting, but God had a plan.

I wasn't content, wasn't always joyful, but God didn't give up on me.

"My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:26

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,

Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.

“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

So are My ways higher than your ways,

And My thoughts than your thoughts."

Isaiah 55:8-9

I never would have imagined this life I have now. His thoughts, His ways... are truly higher, greater, and more wonderful than I could have ever planned for myself. I'm thankful God didn't give up, that He gently continued to guide me. Thankful He brought me to where I am today. I can honestly say He is able...

"Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21



do not waiver

I'm not very political... I don't like to talk about politics and I wasn't going to here. But the question was posed to me: what are your post-election thoughts... what would you write about?

So here I am... wondering what I would write about the election!

As the election grew closer I prayed for change. Whether it be a change in president or a change in hearts. Change isn't a bad thing, it can be a really good thing. It can bring new perspective, new life, new ideas, and new situations. And I like new.

After all, God makes us a new creation in Him. And that is not bad at all!

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new."

2 Corinthians 5:17

OK, before I get way off track... back to the topic at hand...

So, we don't have a new President. Some people are happy about this, some people are devastated. Do not waiver, fellow Christians, do not grow weary. God, in His infinite wisdom and power, is still on the throne...

"Blessed be the name of God forever and ever,

For wisdom and might are His. 

And He changes the times and the seasons;

He removes kings and raises up kings;

He gives wisdom to the wise

And knowledge to those who have understanding.

He reveals deep and secret things;

He knows what is in the darkness,

And light dwells with Him."

Daniel 2:20-22

We're even commanded to submit to authority...

  

Romans 13:1 

So we pray and trust.

We keep our hope locked up in God and not the government.

And we keep moving forward.

what will their life be like?

The hubby and I sometimes talk about the generations to come. We wonder what the world will be like when our kids are growing up...

            what will public school be like?
            what issues they will face in their lifetime?
            what new technology will exist?
            what will the government be like?

We've even talked about what they may think of us! Well, our kids will grow up knowing we didn't live together before marriage, but what will their generation think and those following? I tell people now and they're a bit shocked. Outside of the church community the reply I receive is blatantly "oh really?" How much more rare will even this be?

The only thing I keep coming back to, my hope, my assurance, is knowing that I can trust in my Lord. Whatever trials may come, whatever issues we face in the years to come, my security... and that of my family, will rest in Jesus Christ.

"It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man." Psalm 118:8

some days start early

Sunday morning started early. 3am early. The hubby had to be on a plane at 6am for work. I was the lucky one to be able to fall back asleep for a few hours after he left.

When we first started seeing each other and things began getting more serious. It took me a few weeks before I was ready to say, "ok yes...we're together". I somehow knew early on that if I was saying "yes" to dating, I was saying "yes" to a lot more.

We both knew early on we'd get married someday, yet we never talked of it!

So when we finally said "we're not single, we don't want to be single, we're together, we've been together for a while!" in my heart I was accepting it all. And that meant early mornings, late evenings and days with him gone. BUT I knew I'd rather be with him, with his job taking him away from home, than not be with him at all.

So occasionally there are 3am alarms and being woken up by a kiss on the forehead when he returns past midnight. But I love him with my whole heart and I love my life.

And so last night while I was missing my hubby, I thanked God for our home. I thanked Him for the time I had to do a load of laundry and vacuum so that while my hubby IS home, we don't have to worry about that sort of thing. And all of this... fills me with joy.

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

a family of two

This family of two LOVES saturday morning. No 6am alarm. No job to get to. It's all cozy clothes and coffee. Before we were wed we talked about the traditions we wanted to start. One of them - big saturday morning breakfasts!

So far there has been pb & j pancakes one morning, and french toast, eggs & bacon another.

Great conversations, great coffee, and great food, all shared at our table set for two.

This morning... the smell of apple crisp is drifting from the oven...

We talk about life, traditions, and what we'd like to share with our children someday. What will be their favorite memories, favorite meals at home, favorite traditions?

What do we hope to pass on? A passion for life, a love of food, maybe even the tradition of big saturday morning breakfasts. But MOST of all, we hope to pass on a love and knowledge of Jesus Christ, a desire to know Him and talk with Him. To trust in Him.

And we want them to grow up in a family with parents that love each other. We know this is only possible with Christ...

Proverbs 22:6

Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it.

the day job

Monday to Friday

8am - 5pm...

I sit at a desk,

in an office.

I have a hard time being content here sometimes.

Ok ok, more often than just sometimes. But I just got MARRIED! I want to be home, cooking, cleaning, making a home, getting things organized, and researching new recipes! I want to be with my husband when he has days off during the week. We're best friends after all! We would spend every minute together if we could.

But, as I said, I have this job that takes me away from home. But God has called me to be fully present when I'm at work, not to be dreaming about what I'd like to cook when I get home. I'm to be a diligent worker, not a distracted dreamer.

So I struggle daily, knowing it's God's plan for me to hold this job right now. God has me in this office for a reason and I want to find joy even in the "mundane" days and tasks.

Lord, open my eyes and give me a greater heart for those around me...

with these rings

I stare at my left hand...I'm easily distracted these days. I see 2 beautiful rings that now adorn a once jewel-less hand. The emotions instantly wash over me, I'm blessed.

A wise friend once told me "Stef, when you least expect it, when you're not even looking and totally focus on God, then He will bring your man into your life". I agreed and said, "yeah... you're probably right". She was speaking from experience. I wasn't looking, I wasn't interested in "getting to know" any of the guys around me. And when I met this man my heart continued to say "Lord, only you".

But God, in His infinite wisdom, had planned this meeting and He changed my heart as time went on.

And I am blessed. I am now the wife of my best friend. And these rings daily remind me of HIS goodness, faithfulness and provision.

Psalm 13:6 - "I will sing to the Lord, because He has dealt bountifully with me."

Psalm 16:11 - "You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore."

when days are busy and evenings run late...

There never seems to be enough hours in the day anymore! I think when we started off our engagement and the wedding planning it was on our own strength... and we only got so far (which wasn't very far at all). We couldn't find a reception venue we could afford on such short notice and I started to get discouraged.

 

We stopped and prayed, "Lord we can't do any of this without you. You've brought us together, You guide our steps."

 

It's been easy to focus on the wedding, but that's not most important, planning for the lifetime that follows is. Trusting in God now for these details... will help us trust in the future for the details still to come.

 

So we may not have everything planning and we're still making lots of decisions, but we're actively working and seeking God, trusting in His provision.

 

What I'm most blessed by: knowing that in 17 days I'll become his wife <3 

one year of knowing him

Little did I know 1 year ago today, that my life was about to change. I got ready for church that Sunday morning and headed out on my own. I'd been attending a new church for 3 months in the city. Stepping out of my comfort zone each week. This day was the same as each Sunday prior (or so I thought)...
 

Standing at the door was a man I hadn't met yet, but this happened every week. I was constantly meeting new people. He introduced himself to me and asked if I wanted to sit with him and his friend. So I said "sure". We talked more after the service ended. He was quite talkative, friendly and very outgoing. We laugh now about this day. After talking quite a bit about the young professionals group he was involved with he asked for my number, he wanted to try to set up an event with Wegmans. I wouldn't give him my number - that's why we laugh. I gave him my email address instead. He used it to try to find me on facebook, but never once actually emailed me. Yes, we laugh a lot.
 

So today we'll celebrate a special day.
 

I still remember seeing him, leaning up against the door frame leading into the sanctuary. I still remember what I was wearing. I still remember it being the first Sunday in 3 months that I actually wanted to join the group after service to hang out. And I still remember getting home from church that day and saying to my mom "I think I met someone today".

God had finally brought us together.



lemon ginger tea & dreams

I sip tea, write emails, recycle old documents, update files.

I dream.

This has become my new favorite thing to sip:

It instantly brings to mind the fresh ginger tea they made us in the Dominican, add a bit of honey and I'm there again... in the DR. It amazes me to think that 5 years have passed since that trip. 5 years and I still remember the colors, the people, the exhaustion. The experience changed my perspective and my heart. It stretched me spiritually, emotionally, and physically.

I left with dreams of discovering how God could use me...

Corporate jobs can squash dreams I've learned. Maybe not squash... but push out of the mind, diminish, delay. The desk, computer, emails, papers, pressing deadlines...

I don't want to let my day job remove from my mind all that God has taught me and done in my life. Most importantly, all that God wants me to do with my life... whatever it may be.

What have you lost sight of?

 

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.
Ephesians 3:20-21

summer begins

Friday may very well have been my first day of summer...

Why is that you ask? Because on Friday at noon, I was home, I hadn't showered yet and I was drinking coffee.... I had worked many many days straight and the LPGA was over, so I took the day off!

It was sunny and wonderful outside. I had no pressing deadlines, no work to do, just things I should do.... you know, those things that get neglected when you work long days for 2 weeks straight. Cleaning, vaccuming, picking up what I dropped on the floor each day when I got home exhausted... and just plain relaxing.

From Monday June 4th, through Sunday June 10th (LPGA week) I worked about 75 hours. But then no, I didn't take the following days off... it was Expo tear down after all. So after working the 4th through the 14th... I took a day off. 

My life is no longer consumed by Expo planning and executing details, managing staff, product coming and going, sponsors, credentials, golf carts, and so many other things. I'm not quite sure what to do with myself... but at the same time I love it. I joke about having the brain capacity to go back to normal life but it's true... I'm very happy that I once again have the ability to have a life outside of work :)

But it was good, it was a great. It was again a time when God showed me His strength, His power, and His ability to take over, because I'm human, I get tired, and I get overwhelmed with what seems impossible.

I'm not sure what the rest of this summer will hold, but I'm looking forward to seeing what God has in store...

I breathe in

I breathe in deeply knowing that this quiet calm won't last very long. 

I may want this moment to last... but I know I'll love the change when it comes.

 

My job has seasons of busyness.

Last year was the 1st time I took on this special assignment and in early June I found myself overwhelmed with work... for the 1st time in my life. But it was good, my comfort zone was stretched, my abilities grew, the challenge, the unknown... it was good for me.

 

Why?

 

Because I had to rely on HIM,

not my own limited abilities or my limited strength.

But I have one great resource in God.

In Him I have everything.

 

 

"Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:1-2

face to face

As I sit in my room reading in Exodus tonight I can't help but to be thankful for what Jesus Christ did on the cross...

When God called Moses and his people out of the affliction in Egypt... God commanded Moses to build a Tabernacle so He could "dwell among them" (Exodus 25-28 gave the instructions on how it should be built). But in the Tabernacle a veil was woven and hung "The veil shall be a divider for you between the holy place and the Most Holy" (26:33).

People could not go into the presence of God.

There were rules, sacrifices, daily offerings, and a veil that separated them from the presence of God. But not for Moses... "The Lord spoke to Moses face to face, as a man speaks to his friend" (33:11).

That verse really got me thinking about my life today. When Jesus died on the cross that veil was torn. "Then, behold, the veil of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom..." (Matthew 27:51). It's mentioned again in the book of 2 Corinthians "... the veil is taken away in Christ" (3:16). When Christ died and the veil was torn people were now able to enter the presence of God and talk with Him as Moses did!

And that's what I have today. No rules, no regulations, no daily offerings. God doesn't want sacrifice, but obedience. And as a Father who knows best for His children, I should want to obey.

But before I get side tracked....

God's presence, face to face.... I can talk to God "as a man speaks to his friend". And this is all because Jesus Christ died on a cross for my sin...

and yours too.